Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

photo

passthemike:

teatime-with-nikki:

passthemike:

I got this email today, with this pic attatched. I was going to make a video about it. Maybe later. I assume it’s span. There is a 99.99% chance it is span, The other .01% is all golden.

“hello, dear.

My name is Yulia! I am 29 years old.
I addressed in agency acquaintances. When I have specified, how I
search for type of the man. Me have told to approach in 1 week. When I
have again come to agency of acquaintances, to me have told yours
email adress. I am a teacher and i like my work very much.
I work with children and  Now I have an opportunity to write to you I am an
interesting, beautiful, kind and single young lady. I want to find my
love, my half and want to marry him. I am looking for a man who will
fall in love with me and I will fall in love with him. I have never
been married but I dream about it. I am fond of children and I dream
about a happy family with the beloved man. I am interested in music,
cooking, reading, traveling and others. I know English very good and
can easily speak!!

Please write me and I will send you my photos.
I wait for your letter very much.
Yulia.”

Deay Yulia,

I appreciate your proposal, however there are no questions in that email. A lot of sentences and exclamations. I assume you want to meet, get married and get a green card. Wouldn’t be the 1st time I’ve considered marrying for a green card.

You seem very nice, a teacher. And you look like a mix of Megan Fox and Alycia Keys. However I think it would be difficult for us to meet. You see the problem is, I am a real person, where as you on the other hand are imaginary. I already have enough imaginary girlfriends, I’m sure they would get jealous if I had an imaginary wife. What if you got knocked up and had imaginary kids? Would I have to pay imaginary child support, I have a real job, I don’t even have any imaginary money. Plus I suck at Monopoly. Thanks for the thought though.

I’m sure you didn’t think this plan all the way thru.

With love, Mike

P.S. to all my followers I do love your REAL emails, so feel free to send me your pictures and proposals.

OHhhh my gawd lmfaoooooo you’re too funny.
And I bet you do love those pictures and ‘proposals’ lollll

I forgot about this. I’m sorry to say, I haven’t heard from Yulia since.

 that honestly made me laugh out loud. now that is hard to come by lol

Reblogged from Pass The Mike.